One completed year!

JM, my beautiful, bubalicious delight, in an hour and 18 minutes you will have fully completed your first year of life. 8.23am was the moment you entered the world on this day a year ago.

All day yesterday while I was at work, last night and this morning I kept remembering what I was doing a year ago. I was in a bit of pain - prelabour apparently, and was very anxious to finally meet you. I was also concerned about JA, as I had never spent a great deal of time away from him since his birth and had never spent a night without him under the same roof. My bags were in the car ready to head off in the morning as the three of us had to be at the hospital at 6am. My mum was all set to come over at 5.30am to look after your big brother and despite my best intentions the house was in a bit of a state of chaos. Having had a bit of a difficult pregnancy I was unable to get as much done as I would have liked. Nesting instinct or not!

We knew you were a boy and we knew I had to have another caesarean. You were in a breech position with one leg up near your little bottom and one up near your tummy. Not at all conducive for a more traditional birth. Having had to have a caesar with your big brother I was hoping that I experience labour and birth the 'natural' way but you had other ideas. I didn't mind though. I really only cared about you arriving healthy, happy and for me to be in reasonable shape afterwards.

I remember wondering if I would be as emotional as I was the day your big brother arrived. For some odd reason I thought that because I had experienced it all before it may not be as monumental as it was the first time. I was so very wrong. The moment I heard you for the first time and the moment I saw you for the first time I was as overwhelmed as I was with your brother. The incredibly feelings of love washed over me with such force that I felt a physical reaction in my body. I was in awe at how utterly beautiful you were and remember saying "Oh wow he is so cute!". A fact that was confirmed by many hospital staff afterwards. JM, you were an exceptionally pretty newborn. You are still exceptionally beautiful.

I remember your little bottom being so tiny it reminded me of a walnut. Huggies newborn nappies just swam on you. I remember they had to keep you in the nursery under some lights for a while because your body temperature was a bit low. I remember you screaming your head off during your first bath and feeling helpless because I was in a lot of pain after the operation and couldn't comfort you the way I wanted to. I cried because you cried and I hated seeing my new little baby so upset. I remember going with you for your heel prick test because I didn't with your brother and felt guilty about it. I remember feeling like I had been stabbed myself when you cried out in pain when the midwife took the blood from your foot.

I couldn't wait to get you home so we could begin life as a family of four. I remember all your clothes swamping you. I was given a 00000 outfit as a gift for you big brother when he was a baby (and already in 00s). It was the only thing that fit your properly for a while after your birth. It is these details that remind me of how utterly tiny you were.

Tomorrow we are having family over to celebrate. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY my beautiful little boy. You are now starting to walk and it still astonishes me just how much human beings achieve in their first years of life. It is truly phenomenal.

Your Daddy, your big brother and me your loving Mummy just adore you. We love you so much darling. Have a truly exceptional birthday as you are a truly exceptional baby!