Opinions, advice and not minding your own - Part 1
When I found out I first pregnant in mid 2003 I knew that I'd be flooded with advice and opinions. Some useful, some not so and some just plain bizarre. Every newly pregnant couple and new parents expect it - it's almost like a right of passage. What was unexpected though was the plethora offensive, judgmental crap spewing forth from strangers and people who should know better.
1. The number one way to annoy me is to ask "Is he a good baby?" Nah actually he has just taken up worshipping satan and yesterday I caught him on the internet looking up how to make a bomb! What they are asking of course is he difficult to settle and does he cry a lot. Like babies are being cheeky and defiant by having the audacity to cry. Stupid!
2. Both my babies were born via caesarean section. #1 because I had pre-eclampsia and he had to come out then and there, two weeks early, or we both would have died. My body wasn't anywhere near ready for an induction. My obstetrician was the one who, after examining me, came to that conclusion. Apparently she knows less than the asshat who could barely construct a coherent sentence who told me I had cheated and could have waiting and gone into labour naturally. Regardless of the fact that my blood pressure almost blew the cuff off the BP machine, my extremities were swollen like footballs and my kidneys were failing. #2 was breech, with one leg up near his belly, the other tucked under his bum. Even with the episiotomy from hell a natural birth would have been near on impossible.
My boys aren't entitled to birthdays it seems as I've been told didn't give birth. Someone will have to inform hallmark that they need to print Happy Caesar Day cards for these occasions. Silly me, I was only concerned with my babies being born breathing and having everything where it should be. Dickheads!
3. Continuing on the caesar thing - caesars are supposedly the easy way out. Major abdominal surgery coupled with quite excessive pain is easy apparently.
Coming soon... how the Catholic church has nothing on the breastfeeding nazis when it comes to guilt.
posted by Mrs Pants @ 8:05 pm
4 Comments:
Ah the old routine chestnut Burnt Karma.
And when you are expecting the next one and have a boy everyone says "I bet you want a girl."
When I had my second boy some people gave me their condolesences. Bloody rude!
Catholics and guilt? But it seems like such a nice church, despite almost always taking the wrong side in all issues important to humanity and science and common sense.
Oh my God yes, I've had it to the BACK TEETH with the smug-as-all-get-out "oh, you DIDN'T give birth them" brigade. Like you I've had 2 caesars - no. 1 for pre-eclampsia at 37 weeks, no. 2 after 30 hours of unproductive labour with a distressed baby. And I have had several women tell me that "it's a shame you'll never know what it's like to give birth" and that I had "the easy option." Well bugger me with a stick, people, major abdominal surgey ain't easy. And just for the record ... I have given birth, to two healthy, beautiful daughters, I just did it via my abdomen, not my fanny. (Can you tell I'm bored with this line of chat, too?)
Also, I hate the "is she a good baby?" question. What people mean (and I respect those who actually SAY it this way) is, "Is she an easy / content baby?" My youngest is, but my oldest wasn't, and even now I remember the feelings of inadequacy that the very question used to evoke.
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